Take Me Out
by imahistorian
Summary: Kensi reacts without thinking and Deeks reveals more than intended, leaving them both feeling uncertain. A confrontational encounter with two fellow cops, a softball game, an unexpected fallout. Two chapters from Kensi's POV, two from Deeks'.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Take Me Out  
**Rating: **T for a few adult words  
**Spoilers: **Up through 3x20 "Patriot Acts"  
**Disclaimer: **Nope, still not mine.  
**A/N: **Thanks as always to the best beta I know, **MioneAlterEgo**, who always makes brainstorming and speculating fun. Thanks for reading if you do and a review is appreciated if you leave one.

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"Deeks, what the hell are you doing here?"

Kensi paused before she turned the corner, the hostile tone from the speaker instantly putting her on alert. Leaning against the wall, Kensi angled her head so she could peek around the corner, taking in Deeks standing in the hallway to her left. His posture would look relaxed to the casual observer. But Kensi could see the tension in his shoulders, could read the discomfort in how he crossed his arms, turning to address the two men behind him.

"Davis, Foley, how's it going?"

"Fine until you showed up. Do you even still count as a cop anymore? Shouldn't you be off solving drug deals and murders with the Navy?"

Kensi narrowed her eyes, instantly disliking the first detective who addressed Deeks. They'd been finishing up interviews to close out a case and on their way back to OSP when Deeks remembered he needed to turn in some paperwork at the LAPD. He'd volunteered to drop her off and run the errand on his own but Kensi had pointed out that was a waste of time driving across town and back.

She hadn't been able to quite place the discomfort that passed through his eyes at his words. But the second they'd entered LAPD he'd been on alert. Eyes sweeping and searching as though he were entering hostile territory and they could be attacked at any time.

At first she'd wondered why. But she remembered Deeks was not thought of well by his fellow detectives, as was evidenced by the two men who had approached Deeks when she'd left in search of a vending machine and caffeine.

"Last time I checked drug deals and murders still count as crimes. What about you guys? Any moles you need me to ferret out for you while I'm here? Any cases you can't figure out and need me to solve? I've got a few minutes before my partner gets back."

Kensi bit the inside of her mouth to keep from laughing at the not-so-subtle jab Deeks made at the detectives' professional abilities. And really, it was true that Deeks and NCIS had helped LAPD clean house during the Clarence Fisk case in a way they hadn't been able to accomplish on their own.

But when one of the detectives narrowed his eyes, Kensi could see the resentment boiling below the surface. And Deeks standing there, calm and confident, seemed to only fuel the man's anger.

"Where is that partner of yours? I hear that girl is one smokin' hot piece of ass."

Kensi rolled her eyes skyward, annoyed more than anything. She was used to her physical appearance being the thing that men zeroed in as the most memorable thing about her. And she enjoyed proving them wrong. She liked to think members of law enforcement might give her a little more of a benefit of the doubt, that they might consider she was capable of more than wearing a short skirt and playing the honeypot, but she wasn't terribly surprised that a couple LAPD detectives couldn't quite manage a more creative comeback.

What surprised her was Deeks' instant reaction. Gone was the casual stance and the confident set of his shoulders. Deeks had moved quickly into the other man's personal space, one hand balled into a fist at his side while the other shoved the man once in the shoulder. Deeks used his slightly taller height to his advantage, staring the other man down with eyes that were suddenly furious and cold.

"What the hell is the matter with you? I won't allow you to talk about my partner that way. She's not some 'girl' you can just talk about like she isn't a person. She's a federal agent and she could kick you hard enough to make your grandchildren cry," Deeks replied, his voice carefully controlled and laced with fury Kensi could tell he was barely reining in.

The other detective didn't seem to get the hint, his mouth lifting in a rude smirk. "I think we see how it is. She's yours and you want us to back off. It won't be the first time you couldn't keep your hands off your partner. Or maybe she's just too much for you to handle? If the rumors are true it wouldn't surprise me you can't manage to keep a woman like that satisfied."

Kensi watched Deeks' fist tighten, his knuckles turning pale under his tan skin and she decided she'd heard enough. Good natured teasing of her partner was one thing. She, Callen, and Sam had engaged in getting a rise out of Deeks on an almost daily basis. But there was never the tinge of malicious intent as there was from the one detective. She was strangely struck by feeling overprotective of Deeks. He might be the likely target of the NCIS team's teasing, but he was theirs. And they protected their own.

She knew he could fight his own battles. But he didn't have to. Not with her around.

Turning the corner and coming into view, Kensi saw as one of the detectives nudged the other, both men turning their heads to look at her. Their eyes swept over her appreciatively, not bothering to try to hide the admiration of her. And if she allowed a slight sway of her hips as she approached, she didn't examine the impulse too closely.

But she also didn't miss the concerned glint in Deeks' eyes as he turned to her. His dark blue eyes swept over the placid set of her face, clearly trying to determine how much she'd heard. When his eyes met hers she saw the regret that furrowed his brow as he read in her eyes what even she couldn't hide from him.

Kensi tried to ignore the strange tug that lodged itself below her heart and suddenly made her breath catch. She knew that look he was giving her. She could read the anger and unhappiness he felt that she'd heard the detectives talk about her, marginalize her. She really couldn't care less. There was only one LAPD detective who had an opinion that mattered to her. But the fact that he cared enough? It was enough to make her respond impulsively, in a way she hadn't even thought to until that second.

She sidled up to Deeks, bumping his hip with hers and invading his personal space. It was something they did on any given day, standing near each other, constantly shoving, nudging, and touching in ways that had become natural and unthinking on both their parts. She'd become used to his touch, even sought it out without meaning to. But this movement, and her hand on his arm, stroking down to his closed fist in a blatantly intentional touch, was different. It was as obvious as a jumbotron sign and as loud as a tsunami warning siren. And she raised her eyes to meet those of the two detectives staring at her, the shock on their faces equally readable as they picked up on the message she was obviously broadcasting.

_He's mine. I'm his._

Deeks didn't shy away from her, the only indication of his surprise the slight widening of his eyes as they settled on hers, a confused question beginning to form on his lips. Kensi gave him a quick shake of her head, silencing his response as she turned back to the two detectives, fixing them with her most bright smile.

"Deeks, are these friends of yours?" Kensi kept her tone light, but she felt Deeks shift from one foot to the other at the pointed inflection she'd allowed to creep into her voice at the word "friends." No one else but him would have been able to hear it.

"Kensi, this is Detective Carl Foley and Jim Davis. Guys, my partner, Agent Kensi Blye."

Reaching forward to shake each man's hand in turn, then Kensi leaned back and angled her body towards Deeks. She laid a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently and smiling at the way Deeks startled a little in response to her touch. She couldn't be sure but she thought she felt him shiver under her hand.

For an undercover operative used to thinking on his feet, he wasn't seeming to catch on to the angle she was trying to play. Nobody messed with her partner but her. And Sam and Callen. She didn't care what the detectives thought of her. But she did want to mess with their heads a little.

"What were you guys talking about? An interesting case?" Kensi asked brightly, her eyes curious and seemingly oblivious to the conversation she'd interrupted. The two detectives had enough decency to look a little chagrined, and then the previously silent one, Detective Foley, she thought, looked behind her, his desperate eyes catching on something on the wall.

"The charity softball game. We were discussing this Saturday's game."

Kensi raised a skeptical eyebrow, internally shaking her head. The whole lot of them were so transparent with their discomfort she almost had to laugh. But then, most people were willing to be bullies with the benefit of numbers. And most decent men, or at least men pretending to be decent, wouldn't be complete, insensitive ass-hats to a woman's face. The second she'd shown up she'd balanced the scale, and made it less easy for the detectives to be sexist and obnoxious to her face.

"You coming, Deeks? Not that you can hit worth a damn," Davis asked, using his comment to slide back into thinly veiled contempt. Deeks didn't rise to take the bait but Kensi narrowed her eyes at the detective. She was growing weary of how these cops were so ready and willing to verbally castrate her partner.

Reaching for Deeks' waist, Kensi tugged on his belt loop, letting her fingers lightly graze the warm skin at his hip and catching his incredulous eyes with her own. "Charity softball game? Sounds like fun. We should go."

The light of panic flashed briefly through Deeks' eyes and was gone almost fast enough to make her think she'd imagined it. But she knew better. He could try to hide things from her but he would fail every single time.

He hadn't outright lied to her before the Clarence Fisk case. And when she'd thought he was gone she'd been so blinded by her wildly tumbling emotions that she hadn't been able to see the signs of his reluctant deception, open only for her to see. Deeks was a very good liar. But after the Fisk case she was suddenly in tune with every single tell he had. Maybe it was because he didn't bother to keep things from her anymore. He didn't lay his soul bare, but he didn't lie to her. Or maybe it was because almost losing him had made her even more aware of him.

"Yeah, Deeks, you should join us. Bring your partner here. I'm sure everyone in the department would love it if you came," Davis continued, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"And it's for charity," Foley piped in, trying to deflect some of the obvious tension building between Davis and Deeks.

"I don't know, we'll see," Deeks replied quietly. Kensi frowned, about to push further, when Deeks fixed her with a stern glance. Seeing the anger in his eyes, she felt her heart flip painfully and with a stab of shock. He was angry at her.

Kensi barely paid attention to the goodbyes thrown her way as the detectives moved on. But she felt the absence of Deeks' body warmth at her side as he pulled away from her, his back stiff as he strode towards the elevator. Suddenly at a loss as to why he would be angry at her, Kensi had to jog to keep up.

She wanted to ask, but the grim set of his lips and his eyes trained ahead and away from her, refusing to meet her eyes as they rode the crowded elevator down to the first floor, made her swallow her words. She wracked her brain, trying to think about why he'd be mad at her. She'd allowed the detectives to think there was something going on physically between her and Deeks but she didn't see the harm in that. It didn't matter what they thought.

It couldn't have been the touching. Although Deeks joked about inappropriate touching from Sam or Callen, he never complained when she touched him. If anything, he practically preened when she took the hands on approach with him.

Deeks got into her SUV, pulling his seatbelt on and waiting for her. Starting the car, the silence in the cabin was almost deafening as she merged into traffic, heading back towards OSP. Kensi waited for Deeks to speak, each passing second making her more and more apprehensive. She didn't know how to handle this version of Deeks. He was angry with her and she didn't know why. And as she puzzled over the possibilities about why and still came up blank, her own anger began to grow.

She'd done him a favor back at the LAPD. She'd looked out for him, protected him how a partner should. And now he could barely look at her?

Unable to take the silence any longer, Kensi finally turned to look at Deeks while they were stopped at a light, her impatience clear in her voice. "Deeks, what's going on? Why are you pissed at me?"

Deeks' eyes swiveled to hers, wide and incredulous as he barked out a short laugh. "Are you kidding me? You actually wonder why I could possibly be mad?"

Confused, Kensi raised her hands impatiently. "I was just helping you give those guys a hard time back there. Let them keep thinking their idiotic thoughts and drawing moronic conclusions. I don't see why you should be mad at me."

Deeks was shaking his head at her and the movement just spurred her on, feeling like he was dismissing her, dismissing her efforts to look out for him.

"Why do you care so much what those guys think?" Kensi asked angrily. Deeks froze instantly, his furious eyes meeting hers.

"I don't care what they think. Not about me. That's never mattered to me before. But I care what they say about you," Deeks replied, his tone stubborn. Kensi rolled her eyes dismissively.

"I don't care what they say about me, Deeks. You shouldn't either."

The silence that followed her words stretched on a little too long and Kensi finally glanced over at Deeks, surprised to find him shaking his head, his lips set in a firm and angry line. Once again, she puzzled over what she'd said. She couldn't find the right answer. All she knew was that Deeks was even more furious with her than before.

"Deeks—"

"Pull over."

"What? Here? Why do I—"

"Pull over!"

Kensi finally obeyed, narrowly missing hitting another car as she jerked the SUV to a stop off the road and next to the sidewalk. Her heart pounded at Deeks' harsh words, so full of uncharacteristic anger. He was out of the car before she could respond. Kensi unbuckled her seatbelt, her fingers fumbling as she reached for the door handle. Before she could exit the vehicle and follow him, Deeks leaned into the car from his side, fixing her with an angry stare.

"Stay in the car, Kensi."

Once again adrift and uncertain in the storm of Deeks' anger towards her, Kensi was left with barely being able to string words together. "What? Why? What did I do?"

Deeks glanced away from her, mute for a moment. Kensi waited in the painful still of the silence, her eyes fixed on Deeks, waiting for him to reassure her. To tell her that things were fine, that he wasn't really mad at her.

He'd never been able to stay mad at her. It was one of the things that had always comforted her about him. As much as she teased him, pushed him away, and irritated him, he always came back. She pushed the line sometimes, intentionally sought to see how far she could push him. It was her own way of testing the limits, of trying to figure out what it would take for him to give up on her.

Up until that moment she thought there wasn't anything he wouldn't take from her. Kensi knew she wasn't the easiest partner or the easiest woman to be around. But Deeks had always taken everything she threw at him, everything she was, in stride. She hadn't realized until that moment how much she depended on that loyalty, on his constancy.

Deeks swallowed, his jaw tightening when he finally turned his head to look back at her. The anger was gone from his eyes but Kensi didn't feel relief. Regret filled his blue eyes, chased by something that looked like sadness and longing. And Kensi had no idea what to do with those emotions. They were strictly in the category of feelings they didn't dwell on and didn't discuss.

Somehow the afternoon's events had pushed Deeks over the edge of a precipice they'd both skirted the edge of for months. And Kensi wished instantly that she could take it all back, that she could rewind the afternoon and tell her past self not to respond to whatever impulse she'd had in toying with those detectives and setting Deeks off.

"You didn't do anything. I get it, you don't see it. I just need to figure some stuff out. On my own."

Deeks offered her a tight smile, then stepped away from the car, shutting the door behind him. In her rearview mirror she watched him walk away, his head bent down in a way so uncharacteristically discouraged.

Completely at a loss, Kensi sat in her car for several long minutes. When she finally looked in her rearview mirror she was surprised to see the tears gathering in her eyes. Blinking rapidly and refusing to let them fall, Kensi swiped at her eyes and looked back in the direction Deeks had gone.

But it was too late to follow him. He'd long since melted into the pedestrians on the sidewalk, gone from her view.

She wasn't sure if she was relieved or upset that she couldn't go after him. And that troubled her more than anything else.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Take Me Out  
**Rating: **T for a few adult words  
**Spoilers: **Up through 3x20 "Patriot Acts"  
**Disclaimer: **Nope, still not mine.  
**A/N: **Thank you so much for the reviews and alerts, they are much appreciated! What a wonderful response, and really, the best encouragement there is. **MioneAlterEgo **gets the credit for being an awesome beta and fic cheerleader. This is the last chapter from Kensi's POV, then we move on to Deeks' POV. Thanks for reading and reviewing if you do!

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"Kensi, what did you do to Deeks?"

She winced at Sam's genuinely concerned question, wishing she had an answer herself. It was just a few minutes earlier that Deeks had packed up his bag, offered a succinct bid goodbye, and strode swiftly from OSP. Promptly at quitting time, without a backwards glance, a bid to go get drinks, or an attempt to prolong the workday. Just as he had for the last three days, since Wednesday and the incident at the LAPD. His anger, an earlier flash of lightning and fire, had cooled to something that burned almost as painfully: indifference.

And even though it kind of killed her to even admit it to herself, she missed him. He was there, ever present in the cases they'd worked that week. He responded when spoken to, offered his input when required, and liaised with the LAPD as if his livelihood depended on it.

But gone was the joking and gentle teasing. Gone was his easy smile directed her way and his searching eyes finding hers across the room. Gone was the warmth of his arm against hers when they stood in Ops. She'd come to stand next to him the day before and when he'd purposefully shifted away from her Kensi had fought the irrational urge to cry. But an hour with a punching bag as her sparring partner had helped her redirect her despair towards something she could use: resolve.

His reaction on Wednesday hadn't been what she expected. She'd thought he would find humor in giving the other detectives a hard time. She's expected maybe a grateful, suggestive grin from her partner for her efforts. She'd hoped for maybe that soft, lopsided smile of his that she would never admit made her stomach flip and her skin flush.

But instead he'd overreacted, somehow offended on her behalf and his method of dealing had been to dial down their relationship to it's most basic premise: professional partners and nothing more.

Well, she wasn't having any of that. She had a hard time admitting it out loud, but Deeks was her friend. And she had too few of those, and even fewer that really knew her. When her mind strayed towards the more questionable, heart dropping thought of whatever else they were she quickly shifted back towards Deeks as her friend and partner. That was who she wanted back.

She'd already decided on her plan forward. In fact, they were tactics she'd learned from Deeks. Badger, annoy, and persist until he gave in. Whereas two years before she might have thanked her lucky stars for such a quiet and professional partner, she wanted Deeks back. Her Deeks.

Ignoring the possessiveness hinted at by that last thought, she shrugged noncommittally at Sam. She wasn't about to discuss what was going on between her and Deeks with Sam, even as good-intentioned as he might be. But she should have known Sam wouldn't let it go.

Eyes narrowing in concern, Sam allowed a glance towards where Deeks had gone and then over to Callen and Hetty, discussing a case over by Hetty's desk. And when Sam came to lean over her desk, Kensi knew she was caught.

"Whatever's going on, you need to fix it. He's unhappy about something and it's got everything to do with you," Sam said quietly. Surprised, Kensi could only lean back in her chair. Angry she could concede. But unhappy?

"No, he's just mad at me," Kensi argued. When Sam tilted his head in a silent question, Kensi shook her head, refusing to elaborate on the details. "It's a long story. But he's not unhappy, he's just pissed at me."

Sam stood and crossed his arms over his broad chest, shaking his head firmly. "Nah, he's not mad at you. He only gets mad at you when you go off without him or throw yourself in front of a moving car. And then Deeks gets over it pretty quick. Whatever this is, he's all twisted around for another reason."

Kensi shifted uncomfortably under Sam's expecting, inquisitive gaze. She pressed her lips together, refusing to give in, until Sam exhaled loudly.

"Fine, don't tell me. But we need Deeks back. Not this detached, professional, mopey version of Deeks."

"He's not mopey—"

"Kensi, trust me. Whatever you did probably damaged his fragile ego. I get that it's complicated between you two. Go fix it and bring back the guy we know," Sam ordered. Kensi bit her lower lip against the smile that threatened to stretch across her face.

"It almost sounds like you miss him," Kensi teased, using the moment to deflect away from Sam's insinuations about Deeks' feelings for her. Sam rolled his eyes. Then he pointed at her before gesturing towards the door, his face unyielding.

"Go!"

"Okay, but what—"

"You'll figure it out. Go!"

Kensi jumped at Sam's impatient tone. His eyes fixed sternly on her as she quickly gathered her bag together, slinging it over her head and escaping OSP before Callen could jump in on ordering her around. She'd been planning to go after Deeks anyway and it galled her a little that other members of the team felt the need to tell her how to handle her partner. She wasn't avoiding dealing with Deeks. She just wasn't completely settled on what she would say to him.

Sitting in her car, Kensi released a slow breath. She really wasn't sure what to do next. This was slightly uncharted territory for her and Deeks. She usually didn't have to work too hard to stay on his good side or for him to forgive her for the teasing or jokes at his expense. She had to admit, it was unsettling to feel as though she had to make an effort to get back in Deeks' good graces. She'd taken advantage of his easy and forgiving nature towards her.

It was humbling. And it wasn't a feeling she liked. It was unpleasant and itched like the wool sweaters she hated wearing in colder weather that thankfully had no place in southern California. And it weighed her down like someone was sitting on her chest, making it difficult to breathe deeply or concentrate on anything else. And feeling unsettled, uncomfortable, and distracted were not feelings she liked.

Turning the key in the ignition, Kensi nodded to herself in the rearview mirror. Sam was right. She needed to fix whatever was going on with Deeks. She wanted her partner back. And she needed _them _back, too. So she would get him back.

Not quite an hour later, Kensi sat on Deeks' porch, eyeing the paper bag of hamburgers and fries slowly cooling in the spring air. She'd stopped by the hamburger place Deeks liked, thinking she would surprise him with food. But upon arriving at his apartment she found it dark and locked up tight.

Sighing, Kensi sank to the ground, starting in on her burger since it seemed like a waste to let the food go cold. It wasn't long before she was finishing off Deeks' burger too, her irritation growing by the minute. Where was he?

Pulling out her phone, Kensi called Deeks, rolling her eyes as she heard the musical strains of _Don't Cha_ by the Pussycat Dolls from inside his apartment. Wherever he was, he'd left his phone behind. She swore then that next time she got her hands on his phone she would reprogram the ringtone he'd assigned her. Hanging up without bothering to leave a message, Kensi was about to put her phone away when one of the icons on her phone caught her eye.

Pulling up the surfing forecast app Deeks had installed on her phone (without her permission) she quickly concluded he had to be enjoying some evening waves. And she saw from the forecast that the waves would be flattening out soon so she leaned back against the door and started in on the French fries, determined to wait him out.

She didn't have to wait long. Less than thirty minutes later she heard the familiar bark, followed by the metallic jangle of his tags and collar, that signaled Monty was fast approaching. Within seconds the dog was in her lap, licking at her salty fingers, and trying to steal the few fries left in the bag. Kensi smiled at the mutt and scratched behind his ears, looking up as Deeks finally came up the stairs.

"Monty, who lit a fire-Kensi," Deeks paused mid-sentence, his curious eyes turning surprised as they came to rest on her. Kensi allowed her eyes to sweep over Deeks, his wetsuit almost dry in the crisp night air. His hair was still wet and curling in a tangled mess and she noticed he was barefoot, his surfboard tucked under an arm.

"What are you doing here?" Deeks finally asked, making no move toward her, his voice not unfriendly, but not welcoming either. He just seemed apathetic to her presence.

Kensi slowly got to her feet, using the few seconds to stand and brush off her jeans to collect herself. She really didn't like this. He was unnerving her so easily, just by not being himself.

"We need to talk," Kensi replied abruptly, deciding the direct approach had to be better than tiptoeing around what was going on.

Deeks finally began to move towards her to unlock the door, shrugging as he refused to meet her eyes. "I don't know what we have to talk about."

As Deeks stepped into his apartment Kensi went to follow him except he blocked her entrance at the door, leaning his surfboard against the inside wall and propping both hands on the doorframe. He adopted a casual stance but Kensi couldn't possibly misinterpret the message. She was not welcome.

Feeling the formation of a hard lump in her throat, Kensi tried to swallow past it. Lifting her chin and meeting Deeks' eyes, she forged ahead past the unwanted hurt. "What's going on? Why are you still mad at me?"

"I'm not mad."

Kensi shook her head, rejecting his carefully casual tone. "Okay, so you're not mad. But you're not yourself. If you're not mad then what are you?"

Deeks shifted his eyes away from her, but not before she caught the hint of discomfort in his eyes. Discomfort or unhappiness? Sam's earlier words rang in her head. Why would Deeks be unhappy with her?

"I realized the other day that you and I see our partnership in very different ways. And there's nothing wrong with that. We'll be partners, the best partners there are. But that's it."

Kensi couldn't help the exasperation that began to bubble to the surface, coloring her voice with impatience. "Why are you suddenly drawing lines and putting everything in boxes with labels like I'm unpredictable and you can't trust what I'll say and do? Why does being partners mean the end of everything else? I thought you were the one always pushing me about trust. Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do." Deeks' answer was quick and firm. "This isn't about trust. It's just that we see things differently."

In her mind she couldn't separate it. Their partnership was based on trust. Deeks trusting her, her trusting him, it was the foundation of everything else. Somehow along the way it became how she measured her interactions with almost everyone in her life.

On a scale of zero to Deeks, how much did she trust someone? For his dependability Sam was an eight, and Callen, the epitome of a lone wolf but still loyal to his team, a seven. Hetty a six, but only because she kept so many secrets and it was a reciprocal, albeit irrational, scale. Eric was a nine mostly because he could never really lie to her, and Nell was a seven, but rising slowly through the ranking. Strangers on the street and suspects on their cases barely registered above a zero.

"But I thought—I thought we were at least friends."

Her voice had been small and quiet in a way she wished she could have controlled. The words _at least_ hung in the air between them. Kensi could almost see the words, taunting her with what she couldn't say, what she so badly wanted to say but couldn't. And Deeks' eyes, sadly challenging her, didn't offer her any comfort.

"I thought so, too. But then I realized that's all well and good, but we don't see friendship the same way. I can't be your partner and your friend and have you treat what we have like its some kind of game."

"This is still about me pretending we were more than just partners the other day? Why is that such a big deal?"

"It's not about that, not really. That just made me see all we'll ever be, all you'll ever see me as."

"I don't understand."

"I know you don't. And you didn't even try to. Did you ever stop and think that maybe I don't want people at the LAPD thinking I'm the kind of guy to sleep with my partner? Did you think maybe that might bother me, that other people would see you and mentally high five me because I scored with a woman clearly out of my league?"

Stunned, Kensi could only shake her head.

"I didn't think so. I don't want people thinking about me that way. I don't want them thinking about you that way. But most of all, the thing that really gets me, is that I really don't want you letting people think that way about you. And you don't seem to care if they do."

"Where is this overprotective streak coming from? And this coming from the guy who has a Pussycat Dolls song set as my ringtone?" Kensi challenged. Deeks had the decency to look a little contrite, but he shook his head.

"It's different. You know I respect you and that kind of stuff is just because it annoys you," Deeks replied, a hint of his usual teasing self shining through with the brief smile he gave her before he tucked it away and out of sight. "But I don't like seeing you doing what you did earlier this week, even if you thought it was for my benefit."

"And I don't get why you even felt like you had to react that way," Kensi replied, confused by the contrary sides of Deeks' erratic antiquated chivalry and oblivious insensitivity.

"If we're friends then I can't not care or react to things like that," Deeks said stubbornly.

Equally immovable, Kensi challenged back. "Try."

"No, I can't."

"Why? What's changed?" Kensi persisted, still feeling as though she was missing pieces to this odd puzzle, this confusing dance with Deeks.

"Me. I've changed."

Kensi resisted the urge to yell in frustration. She heard the stubborn edge in Deeks' voice but she didn't understand it. "What has made you change? You act like you suddenly realize—"

She stopped then, biting off the words before they slipped out. And in the quiet that followed she could hear her heart pounding in her ears, felt the rise of fear as she looked at Deeks, suddenly unable to meet her eyes, as the words she hadn't said echoed between them, even without the benefit of having been spoken aloud.

_You have feelings for me._

Kensi swallowed, finding the floor suddenly fascinating. Monty came into her field of vision, sitting down on his haunches in front of her and resting his paws on her boots as he gazed raptly up at her. When she finally risked a look at Deeks she found him watching her with that same kind of fear she felt pulsing through her, making it hard to breathe.

This was the stuff they didn't talk about. The feelings, the possibility of them beyond partners and friends. Even when it did come up they laughed it off as a joke, pretended it didn't mean more, didn't mean what it implied. It was so much easier to ignore what very nearly scared her to death. Because thinking of Deeks as more than her friend and as more than her partner opened up her world to a tidal wave of possible hurt. And she wasn't prepared to deal with that. She refused to lose him that way.

She'd sensed she wasn't the only one that felt that way since as much as Deeks flirted with her, he also made pains to treat her as just one of his guy friends. He slipped up every now and then, and admittedly so did she. He called her his girl, she patted him on the ass. But they always came right up to that line, took a long look, and mutually retreated. It was much safer that way.

"Can't we just go back to how things were?" Kensi asked quietly, desperately. Deeks finally met her eyes, studying her carefully. She met his gaze head on, watching as Deeks considered her question. That sheen of strange longing she'd seen earlier seemed to tint his blue eyes even darker, the intensity making her want to take a step forward, to take a step closer to him. But then it was gone, tucked away behind an amiable façade and Deeks was giving her one of his quick and easy grins.

"Yeah, we can do that. We'll go back to how things were before."

His words didn't give her the comfort and relief she expected. In fact, if she was forced to admit it, she actually felt disappointed. He'd switched back and given in so quickly, especially after three days of stubbornly holding himself back from her. But she didn't want to talk about the deep, dark feelings she had for Deeks, or those he might have for her.

Did she?

But Pandora's Box was locked up tight. Kensi could see it in the way Deeks seemed to relax in front of her, seemed to give her a clear and comfortable smile. But she saw what he was doing. She could tell he was faking it. But Kensi knew if she called him on it that would just lead to the things neither of them were ready to talk about. So she would have to swallow her confusing disappointment. She had Deeks back, at least as her partner and friend. She had to believe the rest would fall into place and they would get back to that comfortable place they'd been.

"Okay, good. I'm glad," Kensi replied, mustering up an uncertain smile. Deeks nodded back but where before he might have invited her in to watch some TV and have a few beers, no offer passed through his lips. Wanting to push but knowing it might be best to give him some space, Kensi finally nodded again, nudging Monty under the chin with her foot. Despite whatever else was going on between them, Monty was a safe enough conversation topic. And she wasn't quite ready to let Deeks retreat for the night.

"Are you and Monty doing something fun this weekend?" Kensi asked. Deeks shrugged noncommittally but Kensi forged on, determined to get a real reaction from him. And if she was being honest with herself, determined to reestablish something of their connection. "What about that LAPD charity softball game tomorrow? Are you going to that?"

"Yeah, I don't know about that—"

"You should. It would probably be fun. And it is for charity," Kensi pointed out, even while she internally wondered why she'd latched on to that subject, of all things to talk about. It just brought them back to Wednesday, when everything had gone sideways.

Uncertain and still wanting to fix the past, Kensi kept talking, getting excited as the idea came to her. "You know, we should go."

Startled, Deeks stared back at her. "Why?"

She thought back to her earlier words, that it could be fun. And she knew it was more than that. She really didn't want to leave Deeks over the weekend, let him continue to build up a wall between them or stew in her own uncertainties and not see him until Monday, and the softball game seemed like an easy enough excuse of an activity.

Kensi offered him a teasing smile. "You can show off your Little League pitching skills."

The return grin he gave her was genuine and Kensi felt a sliver of hope. He ran a hand through his damp hair as he chuckled.

"Truthfully, I'd probably be better as catcher. You can put your college softball pitching skills to good use."

Kensi stood up a little straighter, feeling oddly pleased that he'd remembered she pitched in college. "You think you can catch whatever I throw you?"

"Always."

The teasing had left Deeks' tone and Kensi was suddenly mute, the air filled with heavy intimacy after that one word, spoken with weighted intensity. Even when they tried to steer clear of moments like these they still seemed to circle back to them. She felt the blush rise up her neck and she cleared her throat, feeling the familiar apprehension brought on by the emotionally laden words, looks, and the tone of Deeks' voice. But she'd started this, wanted to get her partner and friend back, and to get them back to where they were.

"Okay then, softball for charity tomorrow. I'll come get you at ten?"

Deeks finally nodded and Kensi gave him another smile before she folded her arms over her chest in a movement she tried to pull of as casual but she had a feeling only signaled her growing nervousness. Forcing herself to take a step back she lectured herself to reign it in. Being nervous around Deeks was never something she'd felt before. And she didn't want to start now.

Offering Monty one last head rub, Kensi finally bid Deeks goodnight, deciding that retreat seemed like the better option. Getting into her car, Kensi resisted the urge to bang her head against the steering wheel.

How had it come to this? Her, nervous and flustered around Deeks, worried about his feelings for her and what that all meant. Him, a strange puzzle as the partner and friend she wanted and the worrisome possibility of more.

She couldn't help but think that while Deeks had been perhaps more revealing about his feelings than he'd intended, her reaction was probably the more telling one. The fact that she didn't shut him down completely, didn't try to close the door, lock the room and throw away the key, on whatever deeper feelings there might be between them was as loud as any objection she might have voiced.

Kensi wasn't shy about putting men in their place and setting up boundaries when they crossed the line. But she hadn't done that with Deeks. She'd avoided the subject, refused to acknowledge it, and shoved it away. But she hadn't dismissed it altogether. And that spoke volumes. She knew that and she suspected that as well as Deeks knew her, he probably did too.

Kensi finally gave in and rested her forehead on the steering wheel, feeling less in control than she had even a few hours earlier. But she was determined she would get them back to that familiar place they'd been. She knew what she wanted. Kensi and Deeks, partners and friends. The rest wasn't something she could consider.

Her resolve set, Kensi gave herself a quick, affirmative nod in the rearview mirror. She could do this. She would do it for herself, for Deeks, and for them.

And she ignored the disbelieving light in her own dark eyes, staring back at her and undermining her own firm determination.


	3. Chapter 3

******Title: **Take Me Out**  
****Rating:** T for adult words/situations**  
****Spoilers: **Up through 3x20 "Patriot Acts"**  
****Disclaimer: **Nope, still not mine.**  
****A/N:** I'm glad to hear from those of you enjoying this story. Thanks for taking the time to review if you do. And thanks to **MioneAlterEgo** the beta read and for laughing at the parts that are supposed to be funny ;) I hope you all enjoy the first chapter from Deeks' POV. Thanks for reading!

* * *

"What is the matter with me?"

Unmitigated disaster. FUBAR. Train wreck. Goat rope. Clusterfuck.

In the minutes after Kensi left-correction, after he wouldn't let her come in and he'd basically forced her to leave-Deeks rested his forehead against his front door, closing his eyes in frustration and muttering to himself. Giving in to the impulse, he lifted his head, only to bang it on the door, repeating the movement in hopes that the slight discomfort might distract him.

All it earned him was a sore spot on his forehead and a whine from Monty, who now sat at his feet, glancing from Deeks to the door with worry furrowing his furry face.

Straightening up, Deeks forced himself from the front door, unzipping and peeling off his wetsuit as he headed for the shower. Turning the water as hot as it would go to counteract the lingering chill from the ocean, Deeks washed the salt away and then quickly dried off, donning boxers and a t-shirt.

Returning to the front of the apartment he tried to quash annoyance he felt as Monty sat stubbornly facing the door, a soft whine emitting from low in his throat every few seconds.

"Monty! Come on, buddy. Have some dignity and pride," Deeks called sharply, to which Monty merely gave him a dismissive glance before resolutely facing the door again. Deeks sighed, knowing Monty would be insufferable the rest of the night. Having seen Kensi, the dog would be mopey and depressed, sure she would come back and spend the evening on the couch, offering up ear scratches and generally making the apartment a more enjoyable place to be.

Deeks knew how Monty felt.

On any other Friday night that might have been exactly what happened. It was far more typical these days for Kensi to show up over the weekend and they would just hang out. Going a whole weekend without seeing each other had become abnormal, to the point that Deeks didn't usually make plans on Friday night anymore. His impulse to go surfing after work that evening had been born out of a desire to try and ignore the heavy feeling in his heart after Wednesday and Kensi's attempt to get a rise out of his fellow detectives.

He understood her motivation. In another time and place, maybe back when they'd first been partnered, he probably would have appreciated the gesture with a laugh and grin for his partner. He knew her impulse had come from a genuinely protective place. But he couldn't deny his instinctive response was anything but thrilled.

For just a little while, seconds really, and without the intrusion of earwigs or Sam and Callen waiting off in the wings and Eric and Nell listening in, they weren't on a mission pretending to be a couple or flirting as part of their usual give and take. And for those few seconds he'd been able to imagine: What if?

And it had been shocking to realize how quickly "What if?" had been replaced with painful, deep certainty. He wanted the very thing Kensi was offering up to him as part of a joke on his fellow detectives. And as much as he'd directed his anger at Kensi, he could admit some of that anger was at himself. He was still trying to figure out how and why his feelings had turned on a dime, so quickly and rashly and without much explanation. He suspected it actually wasn't as sudden as it felt and that the feelings had been building for some time, long ignored. He didn't really want to feel like he did for Kensi.

His immediate realization turned to frustration at what felt like could never be, anger at the situation that had brought to the forefront feelings he'd been sure he didn't have or at least had buried very, very deep, and then unhappiness that Kensi felt like she was doing something to help him when all it did was make him miserable. He was dismayed that she put herself on display, angry that there were creeps like Davis and Foley who somehow found it acceptable to drool over her, and frustrated that she would never be his.

He'd never been very good at not going after what he wanted. The unattainable goal of law school, the perfect wave, the phone number of a beautiful woman, bringing down criminals. All were goals he'd set and conquered with focused concentration. Some goals were minor in the grand scheme of his life. Some had the power to shape his life. And Kensi was in a different category altogether. Had been from the moment they met.

He wasn't a complete moron. He knew things were different between them now than they had been years earlier. More layered with knowledge, deeper with intimacy, and perhaps most tellingly, full of unspoken promises.

They didn't promise each other the things most people in close relationships like theirs did. They didn't have a typical romantic relationship so Kensi didn't promise not to date men and Deeks didn't promise not to pick up girls. Somehow though, in the intervening months of what they didn't promise, Kensi did serial date less and Deeks stopped frequenting most of the places he went to meet women. Their evenings and weekend activities together became more common and part of a routine. They didn't promise, but they did expect. And expectations had a way of feeling a bit like promises.

But they did promise that first and foremost when things went wrong and they needed someone to cover their back, the person they would call first would be the other. Deeks counted on that. Not that he could call Kensi, because he knew he could, but that she would always call him first. He needed to be that person for her.

Trying to pull Monty from his vigil at the door, Deeks poured some dog food into the bowl in the kitchen, calling the dog. When Monty didn't come, Deeks returned to the front room and found Monty curled up on top of a gray sweatshirt by the door. He gave the dog a few pats on the head, then gently disentangled the fabric from Monty's paws.

With a pang he recognized it as one of Kensi's. In fact, it was the hooded sweatshirt she most often wore when she was over and accompanied them to the beach. She'd taken to leaving it at his apartment and Deeks had noticed Monty dragging the fabric to sleep on, usually burrowing his head under the folds of the sweatshirt. Kensi hid dog biscuits in the pockets to sneak to Monty and while Deeks knew that had something to do with Monty's fondness for the sweatshirt, he had a feeling it was also because it smelled like Kensi.

Shaking his head, Deeks grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and collapsed on the couch, turning on the television and hoping basketball would distract him. He knew in some ways he should be perfectly satisfied with where things between him and Kensi had ended up. He'd escaped having to outright admit his feelings and how they'd changed, and things were back to normal. And tomorrow they would hang out, play softball for charity, have some hot dogs and ice cream, and no doubt have a good time.

And he would be satisfied with that. He had to be. The experience on Wednesday had opened his eyes to what he hadn't even realized he wanted. But Kensi wasn't really ready to hear it. Deep down he knew that. His partner was probably the strongest woman he knew but she had fears just like anyone else. He knew one of those fears was losing him and what they had, even if she would never, ever admit that to him.

He'd sensed some of that fear from her in the last few days as he'd held himself back. His actions had been intentional. What Kensi did on Wednesday woke up a mixture of feelings he didn't know how to deal with. He just knew that the more intense and longing of those feelings towards his partner weren't ones she would be able to hear. So in pulling back he thought he was doing them both a favor. Avoidance was one way of dealing with conflict.

But Kensi was stubborn and unwilling to allow him to pull away. It might have made him smile and would have inflated his ego a little if she'd been willing to connect that to her changing feelings rather than her wanting things to stay the same. In her showing up at his apartment that evening he'd felt the brief flash of hope that maybe she did feel something more.

But Kensi's response told him everything he needed to know. She wanted him in her life, but on her terms. And being who he was, in some ways just happy to be around her, he'd given in, shoved aside his feelings and agreed. He might have been angry with himself for sacrificing his pride if he wasn't so taken by Kensi and in love.

"In love," Deeks muttered incredulously to himself, shaking his head and taking a swig of his beer. The slowly building buzz from the alcohol wasn't providing a quick enough distraction from his thoughts and he briefly considered grabbing the bottle of Patron in the kitchen. But that made him think of how he'd bought the bottle for Kensi and him to drink on New Year's Eve.

It had been high end and expensive and while they'd had a few shots on the holiday, Kensi only drank a shot occasionally when she came over, sipping it slowly to stretch out how long the bottle would last. And he'd loved how she would excitedly retrieve the bottle from the cupboard, kept where she left it, find a glass where she knew one would be, and settle comfortably on his couch, her feet tucked under her. It was familiar in a way that made him long for permanence he hadn't even realized he wanted.

Slamming his beer down on the coffee table, Deeks allowed an angry glance at Monty, seeing the dog curled up with Kensi's sweatshirt as more than a little symbolic of his feelings for Kensi. Taking what he could get, basking in what attention she offered, and what affection she allowed. And associating himself with his own depressed dog was not something Deeks felt too happy about.

But then he thought of Kensi, thought of how closed off she could be, and how hard he'd fought to gain her trust and confidence. And his anger faded a little. She wasn't an easy person to get close to. And the fact that he'd managed it was something he was proud of. And maybe that was what mattered. If she couldn't face the possibility of more but still needed him as her partner and friend then who was he to demand more?

Being friends with someone was only partially about what you needed. True friendship was more about what the other person needed. And Deeks might normally be selfish and only think about what he needed. But Kensi made it easy to reverse his thinking. He would be what she needed.

Picking up his phone, Deeks called into the station, requesting Foley's phone number from Dispatch. Of the two detectives from Wednesday, Carl was definitely the lesser of two evils. And after the show she'd put on Wednesday afternoon, he didn't want to show up with Kensi the next day and have things degrade to rumors and innuendo.

"Deeks, what's going on?" Foley's voice was cautious after Deeks called and identified himself.

"It looks like my partner and I will be at the softball game tomorrow. I'd appreciate if you could put a lid on whatever trash anyone might talk about her. We're just partners and friends. She was just messing with you guys on Wednesday," Deeks said, keeping his voice firm but away from sounding defensive.

"Yeah, of course. Don't even worry about it. You know Jim can be a pain in the ass sometimes. He was just trying to rile you up," Foley said, clearly giving Deeks something of a peace offering. Deeks allowed a chuckle, which Foley mirrored. But Deeks persisted, wanting to make his intentions clear.

"I just don't want her tarnished by me. Kensi's an incredible woman and one hell of a federal agent."

"Look, you don't have to convince me. I'll talk to Davis. And we could definitely use a few more players." Foley paused, then curiosity got the better of him and he continued. "Deeks, it's not like you to care what anyone thinks anyway. Why do you care so much about this?"

"Because Kensi is my partner. And she's my friend. And I take care of my friends," Deeks replied stubbornly.

"If you say so, man. I don't know how any man stays just friends with a woman like that," Foley replied, then quickly amended, "and I say that with admiration and respect. For her and for you."

"She keeps me on my toes, I will say that." Deeks laughed, feeling a surprising sense of camaraderie with Foley. He'd gotten so used to being rejected and looked down upon by his fellow police officers that the sensation of acceptance was foreign, but not unwelcome.

Relieved to have the tension broken, Foley continued. "So I'll put you two down together, assuming you want to play together? I think the green team needs a few more players."

"Sounds good. And thanks for understanding."

Foley replied with affable acceptance and Deeks hung up the phone. His resolve set, Deeks settled back against the couch. He would be there for Kensi how she needed and wanted. And that would be enough for him. They would have fun at the game tomorrow.

The following day things started off well enough. Kensi picked him up promptly at ten, a cup of coffee fixed just as he liked it waiting for him in the cup holder of her car. She wore a bright smile though even Deeks could see the tint of uncertainty as she looked at him, seeming to gauge his state of mind after the previous evening's events.

He was careful, keeping those revealing emotions tucked carefully away. And Kensi seemed to relax as she read him, she appeared relieved that they were going to stay well clear of the emotional entanglement of any deeper feelings between them. But Deeks couldn't deny that ignoring those feelings made him feel uneasy. Although he was used to aliases and pretending to be people he wasn't, it made him uncomfortable to put on a cover for Kensi, even if it was what she seemed to want. It felt a little too much like lying.

Refusing to dwell on the thought, Deeks pushed it away, concentrating on directing Kensi to the ballpark where the charity softball game with proceeds going to the children's hospital was being held. It was at a local city park and consisted of volunteers from the police department and fire department who, for an entry fee, would play a series of four softball games. There were food vendors and activities for the kids and as they arrived and parked the car, Deeks observed it was a well attended event.

Coming around to Kensi's side, he nodded to her and she followed him towards the field where it looked as though the last kid's game was wrapping up. The kids had been scheduled to play in the morning with the adults taking over in the late morning and early afternoon.

Finding the sign-in table, Deeks was quick to pay the entry fee for him and Kensi, smiling as he recognized the woman manning the table as one of the administrative assistants from his station. He gave her a smile, one she was quick to return.

"Hey, Marlena, how's it going?"

"Pretty well, thanks, Detective. We've had a great turn out today. You and your friend have been assigned to the green team, they're up in about ten minutes. Here are your shirts," Marlena recited, handing over the green t-shirts. Deeks handed one to Kensi and then looked back at Marlena, who was looking at Kensi while not bothering to hide her curiosity. But she finally returned her eyes to him and just smiled warmly. "Good luck!"

Deeks nodded in return, walking with Kensi a slight distance away. He couldn't help but examine Marlena's response. He was still worried there would be talk about Kensi and him. Rumors and gossip spread like wildfire most workplaces. Cops weren't any different. They might even be worse since rumors and gossip were a welcome break from murders, drug deals, and robberies.

Kensi ducked her head to catch his attention where he'd been glancing around, trying to determine if anyone was looking at them suspiciously. "Deeks, relax. Why are you acting so paranoid?"

"I'm not paranoid—" Deeks replied quickly, cutting off his own defensive words when he saw the skeptical look on Kensi's face, one eyebrow raised in her classic expression that loudly said _I don't believe you_.

Making the effort to relax muscles he hadn't realized were tense, he shook his head in amusement at himself. "It's just weird being here. I'm not sure I've been comfortable around other cops for a couple years. Working on your own most of the time will do that to you."

Kensi's eyes had softened and he was surprised to see the sadness that swam behind the softness of her gaze as she studied him. She opened her mouth to speak but Deeks cut her off, sensing that she was about to say something nice that might force him to make an offensive joke or kiss her. And as options to distract her from the topic of his feelings, neither was one he wanted to pursue. He figured offending her or kissing her senseless would just unsettle her and would kill the comfortable, albeit it slightly uncertain, mood they'd established that day.

"Looks like we're on the green team. You think you want to try for pitcher?" Deeks asked as Kensi pulled her shirt over her long sleeved Henley. The April day was cool even with the sun bright and shining so she left her bottom layer on, adjusting the shirt as it settled over her shoulders.

"I wouldn't mind. You?"

Deeks glanced away from Kensi, reaching for the hem of the t-shirt he was already wearing. He was warm blooded by nature and had worn a short sleeved shirt in anticipation of the sun so he needed to trade for the green team shirt he'd received. He pulled his shirt off, tossing it down to the grass at his feet while he shook out the new shirt. The sun felt nice against his bare shoulders and he idly thought about sunscreen, glad he'd put some on his arms and neck before leaving the house.

"I was thinking catcher. Depends on who else is playing and what positions our team needs. I have a pretty good arm, so I could play the outfield too. But I'd love to see these so-called softball skills of yours," Deeks teased, allowing a grin to spread over his face as he pulled the green shirt over his head, meeting Kensi's eyes again.

The look on her face froze the smile on his face. Her eyes were lowered to somewhere near his navel and her lips were slightly parted. He narrowed his eyes, seeing the tinge of color chasing up her neck to her cheeks. Concerned, he reached for her, laying the back of his hand against the graceful slope of her neck, exposed to the sun thanks to the long ponytail she wore.

"Kens, are you okay? You look a little flushed. Did you put sunscreen on?" Deeks asked, worriedly searching her face. It wasn't normal, but people could succumb to heatstroke quickly.

It was then that she unintentionally gave herself away in three ways. She jumped slightly as his skin touched hers, the blush rose to her cheeks, and she finally met his eyes, hers wide and her pupils dilated. It was an immediately recognizable expression on her face, just not one he was used to seeing her direct his way.

Desire.

Stunned, he let his hand drop. His heart hammered with knowledge that at least in some way Kensi felt something undeniably physical for him. The attraction had long simmered beneath the surface of their relationship. But they were both very good at hiding it away and treating it as a humorous deviation that never caused full-scale distraction.

Clearing his throat, he quickly wracked his brain, trying to think about what might have caused her reaction. They'd been talking about playing softball, Kensi had pulled her shirt on, he'd taken his off to pull on the team shirt.

Holy hell. It had to be when he'd taken his shirt off. And with that certain knowledge, Deeks had to muster up the ability not to grin like an idiot and verbally point out how the state of him half undressed had caused her to have a near mental meltdown. He had to bite his lip to keep the smile from forming and the triumphant laugh to escape, picking up his discarded shirt from the ground and glancing away from Kensi briefly to allow her a few seconds to compose herself.

When he finally glanced back she looked uneasy but more in control. And the slight glare she gave him didn't fool him for a second. She might be mad at him for her response but he had a feeling she was kicking herself even more for what she probably viewed as unwanted emotions.

That deflated his masculine ego a little. It was one thing if Kensi had feelings for him or physical attraction she couldn't quite control. But it was undeniably discouraging if her reaction was one she categorically did not want.

"Yes, Deeks, I put sunscreen on. Don't mother me," Kensi snapped, her voice sharp as she tried to deflect his concern. He shrugged, knowing her irritation was probably more directed at herself. He'd long learned not to be put off by Kensi's prickly side. Finding her vulnerable underbelly, the more sensitive parts of her that she guarded with all the ferocity she could manage, had become something of an obsession of his. And if he got poked a few times for his efforts, he didn't mind. The times he found that more sensitive part of her that she let no one else see more than made up for any possible wounds.

Casting her eyes around, Kensi's gaze settled on a point past his shoulder and she squinted a little, nodding for him to look. "Who are those women? They're staring at you."

Deeks looked casually around, finding the targets of Kensi's question and quickly averting his gaze while groaning.

"Badge bunnies. I should have known they'd be here," he said, shaking his head. Kensi's eyebrows raised in surprise and she huffed out a laugh.

"What did you just say? 'Badge bunnies'? I feel like I should be insulted on behalf of my gender but I'm not quite sure why."

"Also known as holster sniffers or nightstick polishers. I thought badge bunnies was the least offensive term. I think their names are Sara, Tara, and Cara." At Kensi's disbelieving look he held up his hands in surrender. "I'm not making this up. They hang around at functions where cops will be, at places cops frequent. They have a—" Deeks paused, searching for the least offensive phrasing. "hankering for cops."

Kensi laughed, her eyes dancing. It was infectious and he couldn't help but laugh in return. "'Hankering'? Really, Deeks? Are you a hillbilly now?"

"Hey, I thought it was more delicate than saying they're horny for cops."

Kensi rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Deeks, stop."

"Or that cops get their motors running." He allowed a smirk to lift his lips.

"Stop." Kensi's voice was stern but he thought he detected a hint of laughter.

"Or that they've served more cops than Dunkin' Donuts."

"DEEKS."

Kensi nearly shouted his name and he finally clamped his mouth shut against the deluge of words that threatened to tumble from his lips. Worrying for a second that he'd gone too far and that Kensi might react with a well-aimed kick to a very sensitive part of his anatomy, Deeks examined her worriedly. But then he saw that Kensi's shoulders shook with laughter and she actually leaned forward, resting one hand on his shoulder while the other went to her stomach.

Deeks couldn't help the easy grin at the amusement that lit Kensi's face, making her even more beautiful in the sunlight. She was always gorgeous. But when she laughed like she was in that moment it brightened her entire face, her smile so uninhibited and open, her cheekbones sharp and tinted with color. And there was something about the fact that he was one of the only people that could make her laugh that way that made his heart beat faster.

Kensi continued to laugh, leaning her forehead against the back of her hand on his shoulder, bringing her mouth close to the side of his head so her laughter was loud in his ear. Unthinking, he wrapped a hand around her waist, pulling her closer to his side as she swayed a little unsteadily on her feet, her laughter almost overtaking her body. She tucked against him easily, her arm moving around his shoulders and her free hand going to rest flat on his chest while his hand found the dip of her waist and squeezed gently.

She finally quieted, her slow exhalation a hot puff of air against his neck that almost made him shiver. He suppressed the response, knowing it would clue Kensi in to their closeness and make her move away from him. It was dangerous to hold her like he was. And it went against everything he'd told himself about trying to keep his distance from Kensi. But he couldn't seem to help it with her. And the fact that she was letting him hold her, had her hands on him, her fingers lightly pressed against him? It wasn't something he was strong enough to be the first one to end.

"Marty! It's been forever since we saw you at one of these! Who's your friend?"

Deeks carefully controlled the grimace that threatened to take over his face at the words, spoken with forced cheerfulness, and at how Kensi automatically stiffened, then stepped out of his arms and away from him. He turned to face one of the women, he thought maybe Cara, where she stood a few feet away, her two friends just a step behind her.

It had been a few years since he'd last attended a departmental event. In part because he was busy with his life at NCIS. And equally because he wasn't enthused about being around people who didn't want him around just for being himself. Time had softened the edges of his memory and he'd forgotten the three calculating women who were now examining him and Kensi with interest, and sweeping their eyes over him as though he were a potentially tasty meal.

"This is my partner, Kensi." Deeks replied, keeping his answer to as few words as possible. He nodded at the other two women. "Ladies."

"So why haven't we seen you lately?" One of the other women – Sara? – pressed.

Deeks shuffled his feet a little, a bit uncertain in his response. His liaison position within the LAPD wasn't a secret but these women weren't cops. Saying Kensi was his partner was already more than he wanted to share.

"I've been busy."

"I'll bet you have."

Deeks turned at the masculine voice, internally groaning as he saw Jim Davis approach, a calculating smirk on his face. Davis approached the small group, slinging an arm around Cara's shoulders, to Deeks' barely hidden amusement. He gestured between Davis and Cara.

"So you two—"

"Yeah, for the last couple months," Davis said proudly, letting his hand drift down Cara's spine to settle low on her backside. Davis shot Deeks a territorial warning glance. Deeks kept his laughter to himself. As if he'd be dumb enough to go after cop groupies.

"Congratulations," Deeks replied enthusiastically. "That's just great. Good for you."

"Deeks—"

Kensi's voice warned him he might have been laying it on a bit thick with his compliments and so he just gave Davis a friendly smile, to which the man looked suspiciously back at him. Before they could continue the awkward conversation, a loud voice came over the speakers.

"Green and blue teams up! Play ball!"

"Hey, look at that. We're the green team. Come on, Kens," Deeks said quickly, pulling Kensi away from the three women and Davis, breathing a sigh of relief as they put distance between them.

It was when they were a few feet away that Deeks realized Kensi was reluctantly trailing behind him. He turned around, quickly surmising by the stiffness of her spine that something with her was off. Backtracking, he came up to Kensi, the question forming on his lips until she cut him off.

"Please tell me you haven't been with any of those women."

Shocked, Deeks halted a step away from Kensi. His mind spun as he struggled to form a response. Her words were full of a kind of fiery vehemence and possessiveness he wasn't accustomed to. There was accusation and irritation in her voice.

Deeks felt his own anger surge in response. "Why are you asking me that? What makes you think you have the right to ask me that?"

Kensi's eyes flashed with something that looked like regret, like she wished she could take her words back. But they were out, laid naked and revealing between them. She shook her head quickly, then spread her hands out wide.

"You know what, you're right. None of my business. I just thought you had better taste than that."

Kensi stalked off and Deeks watched her go, unable to put a lid on his amazement and the rising tide of anger welling within him. He knew having Kensi in his life was complicated. And he'd always been willing to take the good with the bad. But clearly things between them weren't as resolved as they'd both thought.

He was amazed because her reaction suggested she did feel something more for him. Something territorial in a way that went beyond partners and friends. But her accusatory words riled him up, rubbed him wrong in a way that didn't sit well with him. She couldn't even respect him enough to give him the benefit of the doubt, or trust that he was the man she knew him to be. The man he'd proven to her he was, time and again.

She kept changing the rules on him, kept shifting the boundaries of their relationship. Watching as Kensi strode away from him, Deeks felt a heavy weight settle over his heart. It felt like she was further away than ever before.

And he had no idea how to reach her.


	4. Chapter 4

**********Title: **Take Me Out******  
****Rating:** T for adult words/situations******  
****Spoilers: **Up through 3x20 "Patriot Acts"******  
****Disclaimer: **Nope, still not mine.******  
****A/N:** This is a bit later than I originally planned to post. I went on vacation to the Pacific Northwest last week thinking I'd have all sorts of time to write during the gloomy weather. And it turned into 9 days straight with sunshine and not a drop of rain, so the beaches and rain forests were calling. Thank you so much for the reviews, favorites, and alerts, such enthusiasm is so encouraging and much appreciated. Additional thanks to**MioneAlterEgo** for being such an awesome beta and sounding board. I've run out of the words to express my gratitude. And thanks to **Angela6257 **for the reassurance. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy the conclusion to this story. And thanks for leaving a review if you do!

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"Hey, is your partner okay?"

Deeks looked up at the question from Kyle, their informally appointed team captain. They were at a timeout between the four games they were playing and the green team, the team Deeks and Kensi were playing on, was getting pounded by the competition. They were taking a break in the second game and Deeks had been sitting in the dugout, staring off into space, a little bit heart sick, a whole lot worried, and even more confused than he'd already been that day. With what had happened over the last few hours worry, mixed with a fair share of anger, was winning out.

After Kensi had walked away from him a few hours before, she'd approached the rest of their team, exchanging handshakes and greetings. Kensi had effortlessly turned on the charm, becoming her first-date-Kensi-best. Deeks had watched her, equal parts annoyed and amazed. He knew she was good with a cover. He just hated seeing her put one on because of him and what was going on between them.

If things had been normal between them she might have been a little subdued and quiet, might have looked to him for support with meeting officers from the LAPD, looked to him for safety in numbers. But as it was, Kensi had walked away from him, forged on ahead because that's what she did. She always kept moving, left the discomfort of things she didn't want to deal with behind her. Deeks had watched her go, wondering with a pang if he wasn't one of those uncomfortable things she didn't want to deal with.

Finally, Deeks had trailed behind Kensi, nodding to the cops and others he knew and introducing himself to those he didn't. Luckily the unknowns were cops that didn't really know Deeks, or hadn't formed opinions about him, so they were welcoming and friendly to him and Kensi. And it appeared that Foley had kept his word to try and stop the rumors that might have spread about Kensi and him.

Deeks felt like he could relax a little, though there was still a knot in his stomach as he watched Kensi put on her act. He wanted to figure out how to fix things with her but the demands of where they were, the fact that they had an obligation to meet, took precedence. Sure, it was just a couple of softball games for charity, but it still meant delaying a conversation he was beginning to feel was inevitable despite how stubbornly Kensi was avoiding dealing with it or him. Despite all that, when one familiar face approached he'd been able to react warmly without pretense or hesitation.

Kyle was a detective in Robbery Division and they'd worked together years ago before Deeks had moved on to his undercover position. When the tall, dark haired, green-eyed man reached out to shake his hand Deeks had been able to give Kyle a genuine smile and slap on the back.

Out of the corner of his eye he'd seen Kensi watching him with Kyle, clearly trying to gauge their history and relationship. Finally glad to have a welcoming face to introduce Kensi to and prove that not everyone on the LAPD disliked him, Deeks had motioned Kensi over. She'd looked a little surprised but came easily enough, turning her body towards him with instinctive familiarity when his hand went to her shoulder to draw her closer. Deeks wondered if Kensi realized she did that, turned her body towards him, stood too close, in a silent admission of a relationship built on more than just the foundation of co-workers and friends.

He suspected Kensi was kicking herself for her earlier accusatory outburst. He didn't really know how to fix things between them. But it wasn't in him to shut her out altogether. It might have been what she expected, what she felt she deserved after her unexplained territorial reaction to Cara, Sara, and Tara. He would have been lying if he said there wasn't a part of him that wanted to stay angry with her.

Deeks figured that despite the occasional facade he put up that at least Kensi knew him and would think better of him than as the kind of guy to sleep around with any willing woman. Even if she didn't realize it he knew he wasn't that guy. Hadn't been that guy for awhile now. But when the options were staying angry and being apart from her, or giving a little and maybe trying to start to mend the breech between them, he felt like he had to try and bend a little.

Still, there was a part of him that objected to giving even an inch. Sometimes it felt like that was all he did with Kensi. He gave and she took. He watched and reacted to her. She moved and he shadowed. Earlier that week he'd felt like he'd reached his own personal tipping point in how much he could accept from Kensi while not thinking about the feelings and emotions attached to them as partners, friends, and whatever else they were. But on Friday, realizing Kensi wasn't ready for the discussion about them as "whatever else," he'd given in and let things return to so-called normal.

He wasn't even really sure he was ready to call their relationship anything more than a partnership or friendship. Just because he knew he felt more for her didn't make it easy for him to put a label on it and change everything about how they worked together. But at a minimum he knew there were aspects of their relationship, feelings that had to do with trust and possessiveness, that bled into how they thought about each other. He wasn't necessarily looking to put a ring on her finger. But he felt like they couldn't keep going in the same cyclical pattern of ignoring what Kensi didn't want to talk about.

And then she'd gone and done the unexpected, pulling the rug out from underneath him once again. She refused to consider their relationship beyond partners and friends but she couldn't help those reactions that gave her away. There was something more there, even if she didn't want to acknowledge it. And although Deeks had retreated and allowed Kensi to put that physical and emotional distance between them, it wasn't because he wanted to. He didn't really know how to reach her. But that didn't mean he wouldn't try. Just as soon as he figured out a plan of attack.

"Kyle, this is my partner, Kensi Blye. Kens, this is Kyle Porter, we worked together when I was in Robbery Division."

They shook hands, Kyle giving Kensi a welcoming smile. "Great to meet you. Anyone who can take Marty on full time as a partner deserves admiration and respect. And a lifetime supply of Excedrin."

Kensi burst out laughing, the first genuine reaction since their earlier disagreement and even Deeks couldn't help but smile even as he shook his head at Kyle.

"And you guys wonder why I don't come to more of these things. Who needs enemies with friends like the LAPD?" Deeks joked, although his voice held that hint of truth he couldn't hide that he genuinely felt that way. Most other guys would have brushed past it, but Kyle immediately sobered up, giving Deeks a friendly squeeze on the shoulder.

"Sorry, Deeks. You know how easy it is to pick up bad habits from those Homicide guys. If you ever want to come back to Robbery Division I'd be glad to be partnered with you. It really hasn't been as much fun since you left. So if you ever get tired of NCIS, you know you have a place somewhere."

Involuntarily, Deeks' gaze slid over to Kensi, meeting her dark eyes with his. He silently asked her the question, more interested in her reaction than in actually following through with Kyle's offer. Did he want to go back to LAPD? Not really. But if that was what Kensi wanted, he might consider it. He couldn't help that impulse to give her what she needed, to put her before himself.

Kensi read the question in his eyes and she shook her head quickly, with just enough force that couldn't be mistaken as ambivalent. It wasn't much, and it wasn't followed up with an emotional declaration of words. But that wasn't Kensi. Her actions had always spoken louder than the things she said since so much of what she really felt was never voiced out loud. But knowing that about her, Deeks could take that offering for what it was: a small step forward.

"Nah, I think I'm good where I'm at. Besides, Kensi doesn't want to have to house train another partner," Deeks replied with a teasing wink at Kensi. Her eyebrows knit together in a visible sign of how his words bothered her but Deeks merely shrugged. She was never going to say she wanted him around because she cared about him and didn't want to be partnered with anyone else. He'd just been putting the words out there she probably would have said to cover up any real emotion.

Internally Deeks sighed. He'd been doing it so long, covering up what he really thought or felt with humor and making himself the source of derision before others could, that it was painfully natural. A good shrink would probably say he used humor to deflect away from uncomfortable situations.

Most of the time it didn't bother him too much. He was confident enough about his abilities as a cop to not care what most everyone else thought. Most of the time he thought he was a decent enough guy. He wasn't entirely sure he was a good man. There were enough secrets, enough black in whatever blank, white page he might have been, that his slate would always be shaded with grey.

It couldn't possibly be cut and dry and on good days Deeks thought he might be a good man, even tricked himself into seeing in Kensi's eyes that she thought he was worthy. But on bad days, when he questioned his past and whether he really did enough to even the scales, the look in Kensi's eyes sometimes wasn't enough and he began to question himself.

Sometimes he wanted to ask her. But he feared her confirming his darkest thoughts as much as he longed for the reassurance only she could give him. And without anyone telling him otherwise, reassuring him that his darker thoughts were just a passing thing, his normal self-confidence took a hit.

The opinions of a few people mattered. And it was hard sometimes when the one person he wanted that good opinion from was the one who had the biggest difficulty admitting it. The rewards with Kensi in the last two years, from earning her trust and confidence, felt like he'd scaled a mountain or slayed a dragon. The fight against the very real emotional barriers Kensi had erected all around her sometimes seemed like an impossible battle. But he'd always innately known, even before he really knew her, that she was worth it. But God, sometimes it was exhausting. Sometimes he just wanted to know, flat out and clearly stated, that his efforts were appreciated. That some measure of his deep regard for her was reciprocated.

Whatever Kensi might have said, whether it was reassurance or a quip while rolling her eyes, was lost as Kyle called the rest of the team over. After a quick assessment of abilities Kensi had started off as pitcher while Deeks took the left outfield position. Kyle played third base, within distance so he could huddle with Kensi and the catcher if needed.

Kensi was a very good pitcher. She threw with confidence and precision. Initially the few pitches that didn't make it past home plate to the catcher's mitt were pretty easily caught. Deeks caught the hits that made it to left field, throwing with power and speed to the other players on his team to get batters out. They were only seven inning games and the first game went fairly quickly.

But in the fifth inning, with the score 4-2 in favor of the green team, Kyle pulled in a new catcher. From a distance Deeks recognized Jim Davis. And he sighed, watching the back of Kensi's head as she stood with Kyle and Davis on the pitcher's mound. When the huddle broke up and Kyle returned to third base while Davis took over at home plate, Deeks called out to him.

"What's going on, doesn't Davis have another team to play for?"

Kyle shrugged, easygoing by nature. "They had too many players. And he wanted to play catcher. I didn't see any harm in it."

Deeks clamped his lips shut, resisting the urge to object. It was all just a game. And a game for charity. Surely Davis could behave as something resembling a grown, mature man.

An hour later Deeks was both grimly satisfied and discouraged to have been proven wrong. After Davis began as catcher he'd begun signaling calls to Kensi that she didn't agree with. Initially she shook them off and threw what she wanted to. Davis then started off with taunts and angry words for Kensi that could be defended as jokes but where clearly more pointed, which she studiously ignored. And then he fumbled several incoming throws as runners came towards home, allowing the other team to score. They'd finished that first game three runs behind, losing their two point lead in less than two innings.

Continuing on into the second game, the camaraderie and fun with the other members of the team slowly faded as Davis blustered and bullied from home plate. As the catcher he controlled the flow of the game, dictated the plays and told the other players where to be and when. Kyle tried to intervene, calling a timeout to talk with his catcher. From left field Deeks could tell Davis blew Kyle off. And Kyle, both as team captain and as Deeks remembered, a peacemaker, had not pushed their fellow detective to adjust his behavior.

His next tactic had been to talk with Kensi and, Deeks had a feeling, implore her to play along with Davis. Deeks watched the way Kensi's back straightened and how she kicked her sneakered foot against the red dirt of the pitching mound. He knew she didn't like it, especially didn't like giving in to Davis of all people. But she finally nodded and Kyle gave her shoulder a grateful squeeze before he jogged back to third base, resuming play in the bottom of the seventh inning of their second game, the green team down by two.

It all happened so quickly that Deeks barely had time to react, let alone let off a shouted warning.

On the other team, Samuels hit the ball with loud thunk and Deeks dove for the line drive towards left field, catching it after it bounced once. Seeing Calhoun heading for home plate from third base, Deeks threw the ball to Davis, who managed to catch it and tag Calhoun out. Samuels had managed to make it past first and was running towards second when Davis threw the ball wildly. There was desperate and uncontrolled force behind the throw and Deeks could only watch from left field as it flew towards Kensi like a magnet, striking her in the face.

Kensi dropped to the edge of the pitcher's mound onto the grass as if she'd been knocked out cold and Deeks was running towards her, his heart leaping to his throat as he yelled her name. He didn't have far to run but the distance felt like the length of a marathon as he watched her still form, unresponsive and facing away from him on her side.

Deeks slid to his knees, turning as he went so he was facing Kensi's front where she'd curled her body inward. He felt the damp grass soak through his jeans at the knees, felt the impact of the ground as his knees hit hard, knew his jeans would be stained from the grass and that he'd later pay with aching knees for his desperation to get to Kensi.

Ignoring the twinge of pain, he leaned over Kensi and brushed her hair from where it covered her face, careful as he examined what he could see of her. It wasn't until she moaned and stirred under his hands that he realized his heart felt as though it had stopped and he wasn't breathing. Relief made the spots of black in his vision disappear as he sucked air gratefully into his lungs and his heart picked up speed, working overtime to make up for the previous lack of blood pumping through his body.

Deeks heard their other softball teammates in the background, heard Kyle calling for the onsite nurse, but the only sound he cared about was Kensi's voice saying his name. The only sight he wanted to see was her eyes opening to look at him.

"Kensi? Can you hear me? Open your eyes for me. Please, Kens," Deeks whispered, not really caring that he was pleading, and really not caring who heard his anxious request of his partner.

Kensi was still out of it so Deeks took advantage, running his hands over her body, giving her a cursory check with a light but inquisitive touch he knew she wouldn't allow had she been fully conscious. He was quickly satisfied that she hadn't hurt herself when she fell so he turned his attention to her head, rolling her gently to her back and cradling her head between his hands so he could examine the side of her face where she'd been hit. And the earlier black spots of his vision were replaced with an angry haze of red as he took in the already swelling side of her face around her left eye and the involuntary tears that had pooled at the inner corner of her eye.

Allowing a light graze of his fingers over her cheekbone, the arch over her eyebrow, and her nose, he was concluded that none of the bones of her face appeared to be broken. Despite his quick touch Kensi gasped in pain and then yelped, her eyelids flying open and her wide eyes finally staring up at him.

It was an incredibly unguarded moment between them and Deeks read the pain, followed by embarrassment, chased by annoyance, that passed through her eyes. He watched the way she struggled to quickly rebuild her mental defenses, even thought he saw regret flash through her eyes. Whether that was regret that he'd seen her in such a vulnerable moment or that she felt the need to yet again have to wall herself off and hide her reactions from him, he wasn't sure.

But when he reached forward with his hand to wipe away her tears he didn't miss the pink blush that almost matched the side of her face where blood had rushed to her injury. And Kensi's eyes shifted from his, taking in how his knees were tucked against her side and his free hand was at her waist, holding her secure against him from where she laid on the ground.

"Kensi-"

"I'm okay, Deeks. Really," Kensi insisted, clearly reading the skepticism on his face. When she began to bend forward at the waist, trying to sit up, Deeks was torn between wanted to help her and demanding she stay lying down until the nurse could check her over. Knowing she would do what she wanted anyway he figured it would be better to help than hinder her.

He helped her sit up but was quick to use his body to prop her up, sitting behind her with his knees at her sides and her back against his chest. What surprised him was that she allowed her weight to rest on him. He straightened one leg out along her right side and kept his left knee bent, his sneakered foot next to her thigh.

Kensi brought a hand up to gingerly touch the side of her face but let it fall away as she hissed in pain, her hand dropping to rest on his grass-stained knee. Her head was bowed, the back of her neck bared to him and he could only hardly see the side of her face where it was turned slightly towards him but her eyes seemed to be fixed on his knee, on the green and brown stain that was clear evidence of his haste in getting to her.

She was conscious and seemed relatively okay. He could be grateful for that. But he couldn't help but also wish that he knew what she was thinking. She wasn't pulling away from him, wasn't trying to put physical distance between them. They had the excuse of the situation to explain away some of his concern and their close proximity. But even that wasn't enough to completely dismiss the intimate way he was holding her. Or that she was allowing.

Deeks knew how it probably looked. He knew it would likely destroy any efforts he'd made to eliminate the possible rumors of a physical relationship between him and his partner. But he knew that in that moment he really didn't care. Dismissing the rumors and ignoring the feelings didn't make them go away. It just made him miserable, confused and angered Kensi, and resulted in situations like they'd found themselves in the last few days with uncertainty and misunderstandings keeping them from really communicating. And he was just tired of it.

Whether it was her injury, the last few days, or some kind of new awareness, Kensi didn't seem anxious to put distance between them. It was a strong impulse in him to ask and inquire about what she was thinking. But he pushed that aside, wanting to assure himself that she was really okay after taking a softball in the face. Deeks looked up as Kyle finally arrived with the nurse. Deeks stayed in position behind Kensi, watching as the nurse checked her over despite Kensi's repeatedly insistence that she was fine.

Kensi was trying to stand on her own but Deeks held her back and tight against him with a firm arm snaked around her waist. She shot him a slightly irritated look which he studiously ignored as he leveled his gaze with the nurse, a kindly looking older woman.

"Is she really okay?" Deeks asked, disregarding Kensi's verbal protests at his concern.

Holding out a cold compress for Kensi to hold against the side of her face, the women nodded and gave him an encouraging smile. "She'll be fine. If it had been a regular hard ball we might be having a different discussion. She has a mild concussion but with some icing and rest your girlfriend should be perfectly fine."

Deeks felt Kensi stiffen at the word "girlfriend" but he chose not to react or draw any attention to the label, instead pushing forward with more questions. "Should she go to the hospital?"

"Oh my God, Deeks, no! I'm perfectly fine-"

Deeks cut her off with a sharp look and surprisingly, Kensi pressed her lips shut as she seemed to realize the inflammatory and weighted word she'd used.

The nurse shook her head quickly while giving him a sympathetic smile. "I don't think it's necessary. Just ice and rest. If she starts behaving differently or experiences extreme pain then a trip to the hospital might be warranted."

Deeks narrowed his eyes, feeling the weight of worry for Kensi overruling rational thought and categorically ignoring how he might have normally reacted. "Are you sure you know what you're doing? Are you a licensed, practicing nurse?"

Instead of responding as if insulted, the nurse merely smiled. "You're free to take her to the hospital, though I suspect she may be unwilling to go. I can assure you that the human head is pretty hard and even when knocked around the brain does a good job of repairing the damage."

"I'm sitting right here. And no, I'm not willing to go to the hospital. Deeks, stop badgering the woman." Kensi turned to look at Deeks fully, shooting him an irritated stare. "And stop being an ass. I'm okay, alright?"

Deeks frowned and then opened his mouth to object but Kensi whirled away from him, reaching a hand towards Kyle.

"Kyle, help me up?" Kensi asked. Kyle looked at Deeks briefly, then leaned forward to take Kensi's hand and pull her to her feet. Kensi braced her other hand on Deeks' thigh, using it to push herself up from the ground. Deeks felt her fingers tighten on his leg and he watched her worriedly, getting to his own feet but keeping his eyes on her. And when Kensi swayed slightly, any remaining color in her face leaving as she almost turned white, he was right there to wrap an arm around her waist, letting her use him for balance. Her hand gripping his forearm told him that while she might be relatively okay, she was definitely not fine.

Deeks was about to again push forward the idea of the hospital when Jim Davis' voice cut through the small crowd of people that had formed around the pitcher's mound.

"Damn, Kensi! You took that ball in the face like a champ! When are we gonna to get back to the game?"

Kensi must have felt the anger shake through him, must have clued into the visceral reaction that caused him to straighten and tense with fury. Her fingers on his forearm tightened as if she were trying to hold him place, keep him next to her.

"Deeks-"

He spared her a quick glance, seeing that some of the color had returned to her face and she was more stable on her feet. He glanced at Kyle, who nodded at him quickly in silent support as he stepped away from Kensi. He heard her saying his name, her voice exasperated and annoyed but he kept moving, pushing through the people around them to find Davis halfway to home plate from the pitcher's mound, casually tossing a ball in the air and catching it, seemingly nonchalant about knocking Kensi unconscious.

When Davis finally looked his way he seemed to startle a little at the thunderous look on Deeks' face and he took an involuntary step backward, catching the softball in one hand and holding both hands up in a condescendingly conciliatory gesture.

"Hey, man, no hard feelings, alright? You know how it is, heat of the moment during a game."

"'Heat of the moment'? You throw wildly or without really looking, knock my partner unconscious, and you can't even manage an apology? You could have really hurt her."

Davis rolled his eyes. "I know you two have this thing going on between you but calm the hell down, Deeks. She should have gotten out of the way when I threw the ball. But she's standing up, talking. She's fine-"

The last word out of Davis' mouth was cut off as in a flash Deeks swung his arm forward, catching Davis in the jaw, the other man hitting the ground like a stone. Deeks hadn't aimed to knock him unconscious, he wanted Davis to feel the pain of the impact of his fist. Going undercover as different people had given him a wide range of useful skills. And Deeks had learned a thing or two about punches and pain during his time as Jason Wyler.

"Don't tell me what she is, you son of a bitch. I'd tell you to apologize but I know there's really no point since you're an insensitive dick. Stay away from her."

Davis slowly got to his feet, shooting Deeks a furious gaze as he shook his head and rubbed his jaw painfully. His eyes turned cold as his right hand formed into a fist and he took a purposeful step towards Deeks.

"Don't start something you can't finish, Deeks," Davis warned. Deeks steadied himself, having already prepared for the possibility that Davis wouldn't back down, having already accepted and welcomed that as an outcome. He knew he could hold his own against Davis. But he couldn't not to do something to stand up to the man who had hurt and insulted his partner.

Before he saw her move, Kensi had insinuated herself between him and Davis, her palm flat on his chest as she stared him down, her eyes angrily challenging him. "Deeks, stop. There's nothing going on here worth a fight."

Deeks met her eyes, feeling the words threaten to explode from within. She was wrong. In his opinion, Kensi injured was one of the few things that warranted a violent response. It was his job to protect Kensi, to look out for her. A calm voice in his head tried to tell his overreacting brain that he couldn't possibly protect her from everything and although Davis was somewhat culpable, this was still basically an accident. And there was no way he could always protect her from those.

"Guys, let's take it down a notch, alright?" Kyle said, his voice calming and steady to Deeks' right. Deeks spared the other man a glance, reading the plea in his eyes that they keep things from escalating. And Deeks allowed a glance around to the people in the distance, taking in the cops he knew, their families, their children. Deeks felt the tension quickly melt away. There was no way he wanted to get into a fistfight while a bunch of kids watched. That was a little too painfully close to his own childhood memories.

Deeks took a step back, watching as Kensi's face relaxed with relief and she moved with him, shadowing his movement, her hand still resting on his chest. Allowing his anger to dissolve, Deeks gave her a half smile, to which she mustered up a cautious smile back. She watched him warily, as if she were waiting and looking for the Deeks she knew to take the place of the angry man he'd been moments before.

Kensi must have seen what she needed to in his eyes because her hand dropped and she took a slight step away from him. It wasn't until that moment that Deeks realized how close to him she'd been standing. And, looking around, he saw that the crowd of people had dissipated, moving off to other activities. Thankfully it looked as though Davis had also made himself scarce.

His attention drawn back to Kensi, he watched as she reached up to press the cold pack against the side of her face, her eyes averted away from his. Deeks reached forward, gently lifting her chin with his finger, forcing her to bring her attention to him. And he read the mix of pain and fatigue in her eyes as well as the undercurrent of something else he couldn't quite put his finger on.

As if his scrutiny made her uncomfortable, Kensi pulled her chin free of his grasp and she cleared her throat. "I'm going to go splash some water on my face. Then could you take me home? I think I need to lie down."

Feeling once again as though they were in some murky no-man's-land of emotional denial, Deeks gave her a teasing smile. "Calling it quits before you managed to make me buy you ice cream and cotton candy? You surprise me, Fern."

His joking words were met with silence and Deeks looked up at Kensi, finding her looking back at him with an inscrutable expression. She seemed to mentally shake herself and she finally gave him a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Yeah, you surprise me too. I think I've had enough for today."

Deeks nodded as Kensi turned to head towards the women's bathroom, wishing her words hadn't brought a thick lump to his throat. They were just words. But he couldn't help but think she'd been saying more with what she didn't vocalize.

Fifteen minutes later Deeks was still sitting in the dugout, thinking about Kensi, when Kyle had come up and asked him if she was alright. At first Deeks didn't know how to respond. Physically she seemed fine. But everything else was uncertain in ways he couldn't begin to untangle.

"She's okay, thanks, Kyle. I think we're going to head out. Sorry to leave the team short players for the last two games."

Kyle shrugged, unperturbed. "Don't worry about it. Despite Davis' typical idiocy it was fun for awhile. You should come to more of these, Deeks. And bring your partner."

Deeks laughed even though the idea wasn't very humorous to him. "This is the first LAPD social event I've come to in two years and my partner came out of it with a concussion. I think getting her to come to another one is going to be near impossible."

Kyle gave him a knowing grin and a quick slap on the back. "I don't know, Deeks. I saw how she looks at you. I'm pretty sure she'd follow you anywhere."

Deeks watched Kyle go, too dumbfounded to ask the other detective what he'd meant. He had no doubt Kensi would follow him into a gunfight or even into a burning building so she could cover his back on the job. And off the job he knew he could count on her too. But was there more to it than that?

Casting a glance at the women's bathroom, Deeks was starting to get worried at what was taking Kensi so long when Tara, one of the women from earlier, approached him with a reassuring smile.

"Kensi will be out in a few minutes."

Surprised that Tara, a woman Kensi only knew peripherally, was giving him the information, Deeks was quick to nod. "Uh, okay. Is she okay?"

"She's fine. I was just coming into the bathroom and I heard the tail end of a conversation she was having with Cara. It wasn't exactly friendly."

Curiosity and apprehension flared in his chest and Deeks reminded himself that Tara had said Kensi was fine. And there was no question in his mind that Kensi could handle herself against a woman like Cara. Tara continued when she saw the interest in his eyes.

"Cara was saying something about Detective Davis, that you shouldn't have hit him and that you overreacted because you were protecting your girlfriend. I think she may have even called you a coward and it looked like Kensi wasn't responding well to that."

Deeks chuckled and shook his head. Kensi could be just as protective of him as he was of her. "No, I imagine she didn't."

"Kensi reminded Cara that it was Davis' ball that hit her in the face but Cara said it was Kensi's fault for getting in the way."

Worried that things might have escalated, Deeks pressed Tara for more information. "What happened next?"

"I might have told Cara to shut the hell up and leave."

Gaping in surprise, Deeks had to blink twice at the woman in front of him. The woman who, up until the last few minutes, he'd thought was as shallow as a rain puddle in the Mojave Desert. "You what?"

Tara blushed and glanced away. "It was just too much. Cara always wants what she can't have. She has Davis and then she sees you with Kensi and she wants something else. I know it doesn't really make sense, why the three of us hang around. But we're just looking for something like what you two have. And it just seems more likely that we'll find it around cops."

Hearing the implication behind Tara's words, Deeks struggled to keep up. Sometimes he wished people would just say what they meant rather than the constant innuendo.

"I don't know what you think it going on, but Kensi and I are just partners—"

"Marty, please," Tara fixed him with an impatient stare. "I'm not a complete airhead badge bunny. Give me a little credit. Even if I couldn't see how you two look at each other, I would know you are more than just partners. Kensi pretty much confirmed it for us."

Deeks was speechless, trying to figure out why Kensi would allow these women, would allow anyone, to think they were more than partners. She'd so adamantly put a lid on their discussion, on even the consideration of their relationship as anything more than partners and friends.

Out of respect for what he thought she wanted, and still feeling the need to keep those boundaries, the very boundaries Kensi had so carefully constructed, in place, Deeks shook his head. "I don't know why she would say that. We're not like that."

"Maybe it's not that simple. Maybe she's changed her mind," Tara suggested quietly. Deeks shook his head, having a hard time understanding what could have changed in the last four hours.

"What do you think motivates women like me?"

Deeks paused at the seeming non-sequitur, feeling as though she were asking him a trick question. Tara smiled softly, shaking her head. "That's one reason I've always liked you, Marty. You're not like the rest of them. Kensi is a lucky girl. But really, do you have any idea why some women like cops?"

"Can't be the money or prestige."

"No. It's because cops are heroes. Honest to goodness heroes. Not all of them, of course. But some of them. And even the most independent woman wants a man she can admire and be proud of. You are that for Kensi. It doesn't matter what label you put on it. Anyone can see that."

Tara offered him up a wry grin before she turned to leave. "And pretty much any woman, including the most independent among us, is lying if she says she doesn't like seeing her man worried for her and even defensive of her."

Left in a confusing storm of his own thoughts, Deeks could only watch as Tara walked away. What. The. Actual. Hell?

Confusion was replaced by irritation and Deeks was walking before he'd had the actual presence of mind to tell his feet to move. He was rounding the corner to the entrance to the women's restroom when a small sliver of common decency stopped him from barging right in. Deeks pounded loudly on the door.

"Kensi, are you alone in there?"

"Deeks? Yes, what—" the surprise in Kensi's voice was replaced with shock as he entered the women's bathroom, catching a glimpse of his own annoyed expression on his face in the bathroom mirror. Realizing he hadn't actual thought his plan through to completion, Deeks was suddenly struck with a wave of discomfort. He glanced around the bathroom, falling back on his usual defensive mechanism of humor.

"So this is what a girl's bathroom looks like. I always figured it would be more pink. Maybe with glitter. And unicorns."

Exasperated, Kensi shot him a glare. "As if you've never been in a women's bathroom before."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Deeks cocked his head to the side. "Contrary to what you might think, I don't have trysts in public bathrooms. Well, hardly ever."

Kensi snickered before she could catch herself and Deeks felt the answering pleasure he got from making her smile, even if it was a fleeting moment.

"Deeks! What are you doing in here?" Kensi finally demanded, cutting off his attempt at humor. Dropping his typically confident and cavalier façade, Deeks straightened to his full height, determined to have this conversation whether Kensi was ready to or not.

"What's going on? Why would you tell those women we're a couple?"

Kensi's cheeks flushed with color and she looked away, her questing gaze giving her up. She glanced at the tiny windows, situated too high and small for her to escape through, and at the door behind him, her only avenue of physical escape. Which he had effectively blocked off. Deeks waited patiently. Kensi was the one thing he could patiently wait for. To a certain point.

"I didn't tell them. Not exactly. I may have implied—"

"Fine, you implied we're a couple. I thought we agreed," Deeks pressed, feeling that desperation rising through him, feeling the need to keep things as they were and not shake loose the foundation of what they had. But he pushed that need, that fear of possibly losing Kensi, aside. What he was risking could be worth more. "Partners and friends. Why would you pretend like we're more than that?"

"I wasn't pretending," Kensi replied hotly, then her lips clamped shut and she flushed and looked away from him, turning her dark eyes to the ceiling. He knew that look. It said she was embarrassed and that she wished she could take back the words. And above all that she didn't want him to know it.

Deeks wanted to tell her that of anyone in the world she could be herself with, that of anyone in the world she could trust to always be there for her, it was him. He wanted to tell her but he recognized deep down that he could say the words every single day, but until she believed him there would always be this space between them. It was a physical and emotional space, as effective as a wall but impossible to discern the boundaries.

"Kensi, what are you afraid of?" Deeks asked quietly, his voice curious and without accusation.

"I'm not afraid," Kensi replied quickly, her voice low in a way he wasn't used to hearing from her. Studying her and watching for every twitch of muscle, every lift of her shoulder that gave her away, Deeks pressed on.

"So you weren't pretending and you're not afraid. But you don't want to figure out what else we are. You'd rather keep things as they are with all these unanswered questions and confusion between us," Deeks concluded, waiting for Kensi to respond. When she didn't, just stared down at her shoes, immoveable by fear or maybe her lack of feelings for him, Deeks felt any hope he'd had that they might finally figure things out vanish like vapor. Like something he couldn't see, couldn't touch, couldn't smell, couldn't taste. And maybe it had never been there in the first place. It frustrated him that Kensi made him question everything he thought he knew.

Discouraged and knowing he wouldn't force her to discuss it, Deeks rubbed a tired hand over his bearded jaw. Maybe he couldn't force her to face her feelings but he wasn't about to stick around for the circular dance they kept doing. "Okay, fine. You don't want to talk and I'm tired of trying to get you to. I'm going to walk out of this bathroom and we'll never discuss it again."

Turning to go, Deeks didn't hear Kensi as she came up behind him, her hand grabbing for his wrist to stop him. He looked back in surprise at her face, at the worried fear that shifted through her eyes and the unhappy set of her lips, turned down in a slight frown.

"What is it, Kensi?" Deeks asked, his voice full of the exhaustion he felt. Exhaustion at fighting feelings he knew were too strong to dismiss and exhaustion because he was tired of feeling as though Kensi didn't think he was someone worth getting over her fear for.

Kensi watched him carefully, several long seconds passing as she seemed to mull over her words, finally uttering one sentence that revealed all her fears. "I can't lose you."

Deeks looked back at Kensi, slightly perplexed. He realized it wasn't fear of what they could have together that held her back, but fear of what might happen. And that was just like Kensi, to anticipate the possible unfortunate outcome rather than consider the possible dream.

"I'm not going anywhere. Not if I have anything to say about it," Deeks replied quietly, keeping his eyes on hers, letting her see and understand the absolute conviction behind his words.

He turned his body back towards her, reaching forward to cup her face in his hand, letting his thumb brush lightly over the increasing swelling around her eye. "As long as you need me," Deeks paused, then amended his words. "As long as you want me, I'll be there for you. With you. You just have to say the word."

Her skin warm under his hand, Deeks kept his eyes steadily on Kensi, watching her wide brown eyes and her skeptical gaze shift toward thinly veiled hope. He thought he saw something that looked a bit like the desire he'd seen earlier in her face but he was still feeling uncertain about what Kensi was thinking and feeling.

"What's the word?"

Deeks blinked at Kensi's soft question, at the hint of playfulness that lifted the corners of her lips. His heart pounding at what her question might mean, his brain thrilling over the possibilities, he grinned back at Kensi.

"Anything will really do. A good old-fashioned 'Yes,' or maybe you could ask me to be your boyfriend. I follow directions really well, so 'Kiss me, Deeks' would also be appropriate—"

His words were muffled as Kensi stood up on her toes, in one smooth movement falling against him and winding her arms around his neck as she angled her head to the left and kissed him. One of her hands rested at the side of his neck, her fingertips threading into the hair at the nape of his neck while her lips moved over demandingly over his, challenging him to respond.

Even he was taken aback by his surprised non-reaction. Kissing Kensi was definitely something he'd thought about. But like everything about her, he couldn't have possibly been prepared for the reality.

It wasn't just the feel of her lips on his. It was the press of her body up against him, the warmth and firmness of her from knee to chest. She'd practically shoved him against the bathroom door and trapped him there with her body, stepping between his legs so that her thigh was tight between his. As a default, and in need of something to hold on to, his hands had gone to her waist, his fingers tightly gripping her hips the only reaction that made sense. He wanted to keep her there, keep her pressed up against him, forever.

Venturing a hand away from her hip Deeks kept the pressure of his finger light but also with enough weight that she would have no doubt he was intentionally touching her. He was finally being allowed to touch Kensi intimately. He wasn't about to pass up the opportunity.

As his hand went up past her hip, seeking the dip of her waist before continuing up her side, his fingers grazing her ribs and then the side of her breast, Kensi broke away from him, her surprised gasp against his lips making his stomach flip. Her reactions were the most honest he'd ever seen from her. There was no pretense and no calculation. There was just Kensi, surging forward once again to fuse her lips onto his, her lips so incredibly soft his only response could be to kiss back.

He reached a hand to her neck to angle her closer, and allowed his other hand at her hip to slide around to her backside to pull her even closer. He swore he thought he felt the muscles in her abdomen contract against his as his demanding hands sought to touch every inch of her he finally could. Sliding under her shirt, his hand drifted over the flat plane of her stomach, felt the quivering muscles under the soft skin, thought his eyes might cross when in response to his hand on her bare skin Kensi opened her mouth to kiss him deeper, her quiet sighs coming quicker against his mouth.

So focused was he on the signals coming from Kensi's body that Deeks almost missed her saying his name, her voice low and breathy, in his ear. But when she took his earlobe between her teeth and lightly bit down, he yelped and stilled his movements, leaving his hand under her shirt to move around to press against her spine. Kensi chuckled at his reaction, kissing his ear softly to try and make up for the sting of her teeth.

"No offense, but I really don't want this to go much further since we're in a public bathroom," Kensi whispered in his ear. Rationally seeing the wisdom in her words, Deeks tried to get the rest of his body to agree. It was a difficult message considering Kensi's physical proximity, but Deeks somehow managed to reign himself in.

The immediately frenzied kissing cooled to a quiet and strongly thrumming awareness as Deeks felt his heart rate begin to slow, then pick up again as Kensi kissed her way from his ear to his chin, her lips brushing against the scruff of his jaw as she went. She paused at his lips, kissing the indent of his chin before she moved to the side of his mouth.

He had her, had Kensi Blye, warm and compliant in his arms, kissing him as if he meant something to her. Something more than her partner and friend. And Deeks could have just enjoyed the moment, could have prolonged the moment and ignored the feelings and questions in his mind. But feeling the mental press of doubt, Deeks opened his mouth, knowing he was probably about to ruin the moment between them. But he was also unwilling to kid himself further.

And Kensi surprised him again, just as she had when she kissed him. She cut him off with a hand over his mouth, her eyes dancing as she whispered her next words, her face flushed with a tinge of self-consciousness.

"Yes. Will you be my boyfriend? Kiss me, Deeks."

Happy to obey, Deeks nodded agreeably and captured her lips with his, swallowing any fear she might have felt at saying such blatant and revealing words and replacing it with as much as he could tell her nonverbally. That he would be everything for her, would do anything for her, and he would always be there for her.

Tearing his lips away from hers, Deeks couldn't help the laugh that practically exploded from his chest. "I can't believe you just asked me to be your boyfriend!"

Kensi's blush deepened and she tried to shrug it off. "The way this day has been going, somewhere along the line I realized I was kidding myself that I didn't already think of you that way. I just haven't known what to do about it."

Deeks smiled at her softly, seeing the wheels turning behind her eyes. "You don't have to do anything about it Kens, just allow it to be. We'll find our way, whatever it is."

Uncertainty still furrowed her brow a little but Deeks smoothed it away with a kiss to her forehead and then to the injured side of her face. He brushed the stray hair that had escaped from her ponytail before he pulled back to look at Kensi's face, relieved to see her worry replaced with contentment.

It was comfortable to hold her in his arms. And it was all too easy to look at the beautiful woman who was allowing her to hold him and feel emotions ready to burst forth, ready to be spoken out loud. But he held back, knowing that even if he felt them and knew them to be true, there would be time for them later. For now, seeing the tired light in Kensi's eyes, he would do what any good partner, friend, and boyfriend would do.

"Time to get you home, Kens. You need to rest."

Kensi hesitated for just a second and he narrowed his eyes. She bit her lower lip before turning wide eyes to him. "Before we go, there's one thing…"

Deeks watched her carefully, knowing the expression on her face, reading her like a junkie looking for their next fix. He rolled his eyes in humor. "But first you want some ice cream. Do you want some peanuts and crackerjacks too?"

Kensi nodded happily, following him from the bathroom. And when she took his arm with her hand and allowed her fingers to find his so she could twine her fingers with his he tried not to grin like a fool. Seeing Kensi's slightly embarrassed smile back, he knew he failed.

"Don't get too excited, it's just ice cream. And you get to buy it for me."

Happy to oblige, Deeks led Kensi over to the ice cream stand. It was a long line and they stood quietly for a few minutes, Kensi's fingers brushing absentmindedly against the back of his hand. Deeks leaned over to catch her eye, curiosity finally getting the better of him.

"What finally changed your mind?"

Kensi didn't have to ask what he was referring to. He could tell she knew. There had to be something that had finally made her shift her thinking and allow her to think about them as more than partners and friends. He thought it had to be something big, considering how hard she'd fought the possibility.

"I didn't get it at first. But it started with the grass stains on your jeans," Kensi replied. Deeks furrowed his brow at something so small and Kensi shrugged. "After the ball hit me the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was you. And then when you wouldn't let me get up I was looking at those stains on your knees and it told me everything I needed to know."

Deeks stayed silent, feeling as though this might be his one opportunity to hear the pure and unfiltered extent of Kensi's thoughts about him.

"I knew that in all the big ways you'll always have my back. But I saw that in all the small ways you'll always be there. You'll be the first one to come and the last one to leave. I still struggle with really believing that. But that's me, not you. And you prove me wrong every single day. I'd be stupid to lose that because I've been afraid."

"You don't have to be afraid, Kensi," Deeks replied quietly. She smiled softly at him, squeezing his hand tightly in hers.

"I know that. Just as I know I'm still going to be afraid. And just as I know you'll keep reminding me that I don't need to be. As long as I have you, I'll be good," Kensi said.

Faced with the very deep implications of Kensi's words, Deeks could only look back at her with wonder. Kensi wasn't the kind of person who openly declared her feelings. And as far as declarations went hers had been pretty tame. But he knew the depth of what she'd said. So he responded with the only thing he knew she needed: confirmation.

"Well, I plan to remind you a lot. I'm not going anywhere."

Kensi's smile widened beautifully, her eye drinking him in as she nodded eagerly. "I know."

He might have said more but realizing the full weight of Kensi's realization, that she could allow herself to finally believe him without doubt, was enough for now.

And when Kensi ordered a triple scoop cone of ice cream Deeks merely shook his head and reached for his wallet. He'd never really been able to deny her anything. She'd handily captured him long before the softball game.

Considering the outcome, he wouldn't have it any other way.

END


End file.
